🔗 Share this article Navigating my Yearning for Casual Encounters While Pursuing a Committed Partnership Being a homosexual male approaching 50, I’ve spent many, mostly enjoyable years pursuing casual sex with other men from my teenage years. In my 30s, I was in a serious relationship that lasted a significant period, but it never fully satisfied me, because I didn't experience love nor sexually nourished. The fact is that I have always craved uncommitted intimacy. Whenever I start to date any man, once the newness fades, I always get the urge to be intimate with new partners once more. Reflecting on the Possibility of Exclusive Commitment I am now wondering if I’ll ever be able to maintain a faithful partnership. I'm aware that numerous gay men engage in open relationships, yet when I’ve witnessed them, they appear demanding, often causing lots of heartache and envy for everyone involved. To a large extent, I desire a partner to care for me while letting me remain sexually free, however I fear the psychological toll this might create. Should I just continue to have spontaneous encounters and acknowledge that a lasting partnership is not possible? I’m feeling a bit lost. Each individual's sexual journey fluctuates. Avoid considering of your relationship needs or your ability to tolerate different types of intimate connections in a finite way. What you need in your current state could easily shift down the road; at a certain time you might become less ambivalent and find some clarity and a comfortable path … or perhaps not. At some point you might meet a person who provides a life-changing chance to you through mirroring what you want in a holistic fashion … and later on you may choose that casual connections suit you best. Worrying about the future and playing the “What if?” game is merely rooted in fear and a waste of your energy. Aim to stay present in your relationships, and recognize the worth of every individual you connect with intimately a sexual connection. If and when you are ever ready to strengthen genuine closeness with one partner, it will be clear. Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based therapy professional who specialises in treating sexual disorders.